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Rob Miller for Mayor of Chicago 2012!

Today, Richard M Daley announced he would not be seeking re-election in 2012. Thus, Bloodshot's head honcho, Rob Miller, officially announces his candidacy:

Rob for Mayor

ROB MILLER'S MAYORAL PLATFORM

• Outlawing AND ENFORCING WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE the use of cells and texting while driving.

• No more statues of sports figures until they are offset by musical and literary figures. For every Billy Williams or Harry Carey statue, there oughta be one of Howlin' Wolf and Nelson Algren.

• Flip flops on men outlawed unless in your own backyard or within 400 feet of Lake Michigan

• Car-less Fridays!

• A City Constitutional Amendment barring another Daley from being mayor

• Instead of funneling tax money to shifty well-connected developers, hire clowns and jugglers to entertain people stuck in their cars on the highways during rush "hour" (6am-10am, 2:30pm-6:30pm)

• No prison time for Blago, only a stint in a public stockade with a ready supply of fresh vegetables from a local CSA available for throwing.

• Close the locks to keep the Asian Carp out of the Lake.

• Allowing Bloodshot, through the shady dealings and back room machinations this city is known for, to become a tax exempt "charitable organization" and giving us access to suck on the enormous teat of TIF funds.

• More Banh Mi, less Quiznos

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