Yes, it's that time of year. You're all running out the clocks at work, waiting for the few precious days off that the holidays bring. Or, you are so sick of those damn dogs barking "Jingle Bells" or hearing "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" that you wonder what's it all about?
Thus, we thought we'd answer the burning questions you have regarding what do those folks at Bloodshot love/hate about Christmas music? Hopefully it'll add some levity and/or insight to your day, and pass a few more minutes until the boss lets you go home for the day...
Favorite: Anything off "A Christmas Gift for You from Phil Spector"
Most Hated: "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"
Sez JP: "Totally scarring if Santa Claus isn't your daddy. It's creepy. And weird."
Favorite: "Have a Holly Jolly Christmas" Burl Ives
Most Hated: "Sleigh Ride" Johnny Mathis
Bing Crosby- "Mele Kalikimaka"
Jose Feliciano- "Feliz Navidad"
Fear- "Fuck Christmas"
Mystery Science Theater 3000- "Have a Patrick Swayze Christmas"
Most Hated: "Santa Baby"
Sez Pete: "How creepy is that song? It's about a woman seducing Santa so he'll bring her more presents. Any song that even bares the potential of giving the listener a mental image of someone having sex with Santa gets an automatic, enthusiastic thumbs down." (Boss's editorial note: Pete is wrong. If Eartha Kitt's version of this song doesn't put, ahem, a candy cane in your stocking, then you're kinda dead...)
Favorites: 1 - Bing Crosby "White Christmas" - I know, how cliche. But isn't all Christmas music cliched traditionals? Something about the movie and song will always make me feel good around this time of the year.
2 - Run DMC "Christmas In Hollis" - Not your typical holiday tune, which makes it that much better.
3 - John Denver and The Muppets A Christmas Together - I remember listening to this album when I was a kid while decorating the tree and thinking that this was how all Christmas music was supposed to be. I haven't heard it in years, but I'm sure it still holds up.
1 - Tran Siberian Orchestra - anything by this group makes me a little nauseous.
2 - Anything from the claymation Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer movie. That movie has always creeped me out, and the music from it - I think it's Burl Ives - is a haunting reminder of those eerie little characters.
3 - I just saw there's a Glee Christmas album on Amazon. I've never heard it, but I would assume it's pretty darn hokey and over the top.
"Christmas Card From A Hooker In Minneapolis" - Tom Waits
"Hard Candy Christmas" - Dolly Parton
"Holly & Her Mistletoe" - Jim Lauderdale
"Jesus On The Couch" - Otis Gibbs
"Oh It's Christmas" - Rosebuds
"Just Like Christmas" - Low
"Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" — Elmo & Patsy
"I'm Mr Heat/Snow Miser" That's a helluva groove.
"Merry Christmas Baby" Ike and Tina Turner (just HOLDING that record is an aphrodisiac)
"Daddy's Drinking Up Our Christmas" Commander Cody
"You're All I Want For Christmas" Anita Ellis (will melt the coldest of hearts)
"Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" Gene Autry. Seriously, if this just doesn't make you smile and singalong, go live in your cave already...
"Back Door Santa" Clarence Carter/"Christmas in Hollis" Run DMC ---Same Song, but ever so different. Double entendres that went right over my head as a kid...
Like I said, those damn barking dogs.
"Feliz Navidad" Jose Feliciano You know, it wasn't too bad the FIRST 9,000 times I heard it.....
"Having A Wonderful Christmas Time" I don't who does it, but that jaunty, shitty synth pop evokes an almost primal anger in me.
Nan does not partake in Holiday music.